An uncomfortable place

Recently, my thoughts have been gravitating towards the sobering reality of Romans 8:22:

“For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.”

The context is the subjection of all creation to futility—that there is suffering in this present time. The word “groaning” is such an accurate description of what we experience in this life. However, I don’t think there is a word in the English language that fully captures what we experience in terms of “groaning.” Even when life is “good,” there is still this dull ache that lingers like a migraine.

Our clothes iron finally died recently. It was a wedding gift to us from my great grandmother (who is also dead). We just celebrated our 11th anniversary, so we had a good run with that iron! Theresa bought a new one last week. It works great and so much more efficiently than the other iron, which was evidently at the end of its rope the last few months. I don’t like the new iron, yet. I want the old iron. I would take the old iron back, even if it meant it didn’t work as good as our new one. But I don’t think it’s really the old iron I miss. I think it goes deeper than that. The iron reminded me of my great grandmother, who is gone. She was sweet. I have tons of pleasant memories spent with her. In fact, I have had lots of people in my life that have given me fond memories. They have either died or I no longer live close to them. It’s sad. Life is sad sometimes. Even when there is no apparent reason. Sometimes my son is downcast and I will ask him, “what’s wrong?” He’ll say, “I’m sad.” When I ask why, he’ll say, “I don’t know.” Sometimes I think he really doesn’t know why. He just is. Even when things are “good.” As adults, we are not immune to this experience. If anything, we probably experience it more, or at least I do. Why? We’re groaning. One of my friends, James, who is now separated from me by about 1,500 miles used to say we try to “refuse” to groan. I really love how he put that. We try to “refuse” to groan by filling ourselves with something (i.e., food, sex, possessions, travel, entertainment, sleep, making ourselves look attractive, exercise, drugs or alcohol, pornography, relationships) or literally anything and everything that releases dopamine in our brains. Our very souls, not just our bodies, are downcast at times.

What do you fill yourself with? For me, my go-to is food. It’s a little more socially-acceptable and is less damaging to my faith, marriage, and life than pornography or mind-altering substances, but it still falls short. There are probably many things you fill yourself with that are either on or off that list, but I bet there are 1 or 2 that are your mainstays. Sure, if we’re a Christian, there are times when we go to Jesus for comfort and fulfillment when we are groaning, but there are many times that we don’t. Or at least that’s the case for me if I’m honest with myself. In this life, I don’t think we ever fully get over this, but that doesn’t mean we’ve lost, as long as we don’t throw-in-the-towel. We keep fighting and we fight by being filled with the Holy Spirit, not just merely on shear will-power.

It should be said that I also believe God appoints created things as something to bring us comfort in this life. He appointed a plant to spring up over Jonah to relieve him of his discomfort. God gave Adam a wife because he said that it was not good for man to be alone. It’s part of his amazing Grace. The real problem occurs when we prefer the filling of ourselves with these created things over filling ourselves with God. The plant withered and we all know what happened with Adam and Eve. Eventually created things fail to deliver (because they’re not made to). By whatever means God chooses to relieve us from our discomfort, He’s the source. Here’s to hoping I keep fighting again this week!