All Things are Full of Weariness
A Context for the Experience of Weariness
“The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.”
Ecclesiastes 1:5-8
Have you ever felt like your bones are out of joint or like your heart is slowly melting in your chest like wax? Maybe it’s just a subtle, low-grade feeling that persists for a period of days, weeks, months, or years. Sometimes, it can be difficult; almost impossible, to put a context to how we feel, or to our experience of the world. Over the years, the Bible has helped me put some color to how I feel emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. In transparency, I have been swimming in a sea of weariness since the beginning of the pandemic. With every stroke in that sea, I have become increasingly winded. It can be so subtle that it can go almost unnoticed, until it hits you all at once. It’s not necessarily any one event, but is an accumulation of tens, hundreds, and thousands of events. “Death-by-papercut,” as they say.
Theresa and I were recently out of town celebrating our 15th anniversary. We took a subway to the airport on our final day as we headed home. It was a fairly long commute, so I had plenty of time to people-watch. We were also out of the country, so our phones didn’t have any cell service. This was helpful, because I normally would have buried my face in my phone to stay entertained for the hour and half train ride. As I was observing the people around me, I noticed a sense of weariness; much like Solomon described in Ecclesiastes 1. People were likely headed to work, to see a friend, on their way to the grocery store, etc. Whatever they were doing, you could tell it wasn’t the first time, but was just one of hundreds, or maybe even thousands of occurrences. Even the subway train itself looked weary. The floors and walls had scratches and tread marks from people’s shoes and coat zippers. The handrails were wrought with handprints, and the seats had dings and dents. The subway makes stop-after-stop day-after-day, until it hits the end of the line, then it reverses and goes right back in the opposite direction; people coming, people going at each stop.
Just like Ecclesiastes 1, that subway ride gave me context for my current life experiences. There’s a sort of vanity or futility to it all. As Christians, we know our new lives through Jesus have profound purpose and that all things work together for our good (Rom. 8:28). However, just a few verses prior, we also read that the whole creation (the rocks, the birds, the trees, mankind, etc.) has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now (Rom. 8:22). Although the Light of the world has already come, and the work is already finished, we still live in this in-between time where we don’t have full redemption. Our bodies get sick, our minds get lost, our hearts melt within our chest, relationships crumble, seasons of joy turn to seasons of mourning. It’s true that I’ve had wonderful moments sprinkled in over the last several years. However, the world still has a way of wearying all of us, including Christians. We experience disappointments, transgressions, abandonments, deaths, regrets, and on, and on.
I love many of the Psalms; especially the ones that just end without a clear resolve:
“How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?…consider and answer me.”
Psalms 13 (shortened)
What’s the Solution for Weariness?
Although David ends Psalms 13 with, “I will sing to the LORD because he has dealt bountifully with me,” there isn’t an explicit resolution to his situation. His worship towards God comes from a place of faith and trust, not necessarily from a place of answered prayer. I reject the notion that things always turn out well in this life as long as you are saved by Jesus and have submitted to his will. Sometimes, life is just hard, and things don’t always go as they should. So, what’s the answer? What’s the solution? Often times, I look for that elusive “thing” that’s supposed to solve my issue. What’s the book I need to read, or the phrase I need to hear, or the sermon that needs to be preached, or the counseling session that needs to be had, in order for me to get my problem fixed? Sometimes a book, or a word of encouragement, or a sermon, or a counseling session does provide real relief (and thank God for that). But sometimes we just have to say like David, “But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.”