Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a hopeful realist?

Black and white photo of a sandy path cutting between rows of citrus trees toward a distant tree line.

Where am I going with this?

I’m pretty sure I didn’t think of the term first, but I want to spend this post talking about why I consider myself neither an optimist or pessimist, but rather a ‘hopeful realist.’ When pessimists defend their position, they will say they’re not pessimists, but realists. That basically implies that the default of all life is that it generally sucks and if it can go wrong, it will. It therefore also implies that optimism requires one to either brush off, downplay, or ignore reality. In my opinion, both positions are “half right,” which is why I don’t consider myself to be either one. I will say however, if you’re going to err on one side and choose between optimism and pessimism, optimism is the better choice. Let’s think about each one:

Why are some pessimists?

There are probably a million different answers to this question. I think one reason pessimism is half-true is because the world really is broken (Gen. 3, Romans 8,…). Things go wrong constantly. Stuff rots and rusts. Storms destroy homes. Justin Beiber, the Kardashians,  mosquitoes, yellow jackets, and male rompers exist…Not to mention the DMV. People betray each other, cheat each other, steal, slander, murder. People are selfish; they can be lazy co-workers, unreliable, etc. If you’re a victim of any one of those in some way (which we all are on at least some level), you may have a proclivity to be pessimistic. Does it ever feel like you can’t quite “get ahead” in life? Maybe you build up your emergency savings and get it where you want it, then something happens and you have to empty it and start over. Just when you start to feel like you have some traction…the wheels come off. This is not pessimism talking, this is reality talking. Nothing profound here. This is everyday life. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that. I bet all 3 of you reading said ‘amen’ when you read that! Wait a minute…I think that was just a little pessimism spilling out there^^^.

I have so many things to be negative about. I’ve had people betray me, steal from me, slander me, lie to me. I’ve had horrible bosses, broken down vehicles, kids and family with health issues, etc. Since moving to Florida, we have had a rough time with selling our house in Murphysboro. We had a renter for about 6 weeks that bailed out, a couple that put in an offer, then backed out of the contract; only to be back at square one 10 months after putting the house on the market. Trust me, I could sit here all day and the next day, and the next day listing all the things that have been awful in life. And by the end of it, I’d probably be super-angry and a big fat jerk ready to run around the neighborhood just throwing rocks through everyone’s windows and burning ants with a magnifying glass. Have you been around people that literally pile that stuff up and accumulate it in their minds and use it as a foundation for being a ‘realist’? It’s almost like it turns into a resume. Like, look…here’s why I’m such a negative Nancy…from 1982-84 I blah blah blah…and then from 1984-85 I went through my divorce and then from 1985-1995 I worked at a job where I was unappreciated and…so on. It shapes the lens through which they view everything. “I think such and such have alterior motives.” “Oh things are going so great, what’s going to happen now?” Pessimists tend to look down on people that are optimists because they’re just ‘neieve’ or ‘haven’t lived long enough yet,’ or ‘they’re just really lucky.’ Pessimists may even find enjoyment in the misfortune of others? I think if we’re being honest, we all experience these thoughts and feelings on some level. I am often on a spectrum between optimism, pessimism, and hopeful realism. I experience a mixture of all 3 and it changes by the hour. Ok, enough laboring on pessimism…what about optimism?

Why are some optimists?

Optimists are the glass is half-full types. They are armed with lots and lots of Gandhi quotes, inspirational memes, various articles where someone rescued a kitten from a tree that are titled, “there are still good people in the world,” God never gives you more than you can handle; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade–you get the point. They’re no doubt encouraging people to be around (unless you’re a pessimist, then they’re annoying). There truly are good things in this world still. However, that isn’t enough. Even good acts, when they’re done apart from the Jesus of the Bible, aren’t inherently good acts. Thanks be to God for His common grace that prevents evil and pain and suffering and injustice from completely taking over! The ‘good’ things in the world simply aren’t enough to swallow up all the hard things. It’s good to try to be positive and have a good outlook on life, despite the current condition of the universe, but apart from Jesus and His work on the cross, it falls short.

The goal in life is not to try to accumulate enough ‘good’ things to outweigh the ‘bad’ things in life. For example, as long as more good things happen this week than bad, it was a good week. Or as long as I can find enough positive things and positive people and positive situations and meditate upon them and consider them and champion them, life is good. It breaks down and falls apart eventually. That positive mindset can only get one so far. Wait…Since I just spent less time talking about optimism, does that mean I am more of a pessimist? I don’t know, what do you think? Would you tend to give me the benefit of the doubt? 🙂

Why hopeful realism?

Ok…so finally…to hopeful realism. Hopeful realism is really something completely, entirely, different. It doesn’t just simply take the good things from optimism and pessimism and fill in all the holes. It’s so much more than that. If I could define it, I would describe it as a worldview that acknowledges and accepts the current brokenness and fallen state of the universe with a looking upon the present in-breaking of the Kingdom of God as well as the future glory and hope of full-redemption that is to be revealed, where everything will be made right and God’s Presence will be fully manifest amongst His people. That definition needs a bit of polishing, but I can take the time to labor over that another day. That’s at least the nuts and bolts of what I mean my hopeful realism. You can quickly see that apart from Jesus, one is either an optimist or a pessimist and neither is right. Ok, so how does this practically play out? What does this actually look like in action? Here’s an example of a flow of thought in the mind of a hopeful realist:

I have prayed that God would heal my sickness and I believe and hope that he will, but he might not. I don’t know if he will heal me.

– OR –

I’ve been hoping that my job situation will change, but it might not.

– OR –

I’ve been hoping that their marriage will make it, but it might not.

Sometimes we can be too quick (myself included) to tell people that everything will be alright or that it will work out. What if you tell somebody that it will work out and it doesn’t? That could really mess someone up. You can see the obvious difference between hopeful realism and the other two. I think hopeful realism is Biblical too. We see examples of it with David:

21 Then his servants said to him, “What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.”
22 He said, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’
23 But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.” – 2 Samuel 12:21-23

David hopes and prays and believes, and his baby still dies.

– AND Jesus –

41 And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed,
42 saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” – Luke 22:41-42

And we know the obvious, ultimate outcome…Jesus was crucified. There are a number of examples of hopeful realism in the Bible, but those are the first two that come to mind for me. Search the scriptures for yourself and test it to see if it’s true. I have many examples from my own life where the desired outcome has or has not taken place. However, I will say many of the things I’ve prayed for, God has given me and even when he hasn’t and doesn’t give me what I want, even that stuff works for my eternal good (Romans 8:28).

I don’t want to cut this too short here, but I believe the difference between hopeful realism and the other 2 is stark. Hopeful realism is in a completely different category of its own and is a worldview only made possible in the mind of a fallen human being by the work of the Holy Spirit. One aspect of being a Christian is also being a hopeful realist. I imagine I will write more on this subject in the future as it’s sort of even something new to me that I have been considering and thinking upon lately. Hopefully I can flesh-it-out more clearly and more definitively down the road! Hope it’s helpful for you. Happy Friday!